


Be My Eyes (Baby, I Can't See)

by QueenOfNewOrleans22



Category: Mötley Crüe, The Dirt (2019)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Mild Blood, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:47:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28644684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfNewOrleans22/pseuds/QueenOfNewOrleans22
Summary: Nikki felt like he was drowning, clawing desperately to get back up for air, his lungs aching as his chest seemed to constrict, ribcage crushing itself. The darkness of the sea seemed so eternal, so final. Nikki didn't like that, and he opened his eyes, but the air that awaited him was thick and heavy.
Relationships: Mick Mars/Nikki Sixx
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Be My Eyes (Baby, I Can't See)

Nikki felt like he was drowning, clawing desperately to get back up for air, his lungs aching as his chest seemed to constrict, ribcage crushing itself. The darkness of the sea seemed so eternal, so final. Nikki didn't like that, and he opened his eyes, but the air that awaited him was thick and heavy. 

The room was dark, empty besides for the furniture that'd been supplied by the hotel. A small part of Nikki ached to make the room his own, to push around the furniture with whatever strength he had, but he couldn't and so he didn't. He slipped out of bed, blinking away the last dredges of sleep from his eyes. He was still dressed in his stage clothes, having walked away from the groupies that were trying to get him out of them. 

The harsh material of Nikki's shirt was unpleasant. It irritated his skin, and he dragged his nails across his arm, hard enough to leave red marks. Nikki grabbed the box of cigarettes from the bedside table and lit one, the flame like a beacon in his little box of darkness before he flicked it off and tossed it aside. 

Torn pieces of paper crinkled under Nikki's boots when he stood - he hadn't taken those off, either. Nikki decided that there was no use, anyways. He walked into the bathroom, disregarding the light in favor of turning on the water. It was cold and like freezing ice against Nikki's skin as he tossed it onto his face, forgetting about his makeup in the process.

Pausing, Nikki looked up at the mirror, and in the faint light provided from outside, he looked like a zombie, pale skin and black marks dragging from underneath his eyes. Nikki pursed his lips into a thin line. His hand clenched, fingernails digging into the palm of his hand. 

Nikki slammed his fist into the mirror, and it exploded in a burst of thin shards of glass and blood welled from Nikki's fist, red hot and dripping down onto the floor. 

Breathless, Nikki stared at the blood, and then he looked up at what remained of the mirror. A single shard reflected a single green eye, and the other featured bloodied red lips. Nikki clenched his hand again. The aluminum felt hard when his fist hit it, and send a bolt of pain through Nikki's hand. He looked down, seeing purple bruises blossom on pale skin. 

Tilting his head at the sight, Nikki turned on his heel, out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom. The world was tilting on its axis, going sideways. Nikki opened the door and didn't shut it, storming out into the cold night. Blood dripped down onto the floor, leaving a trail of breadcrumbs behind Nikki in his wake. 

There was a rainstorm going on, and the water drops felt like tiny missiles. 

Nikki put his hand on the door, and it didn't resist when he pushed down, opening it and walking inside. Nikki blinked. His mouth felt dry, tongue heavy. The world was tilting, and it was going sideways, before losing its balance and falling. 

It was falling, falling, falling. 

"Don't get your blood on the carpet." Mick said. 

_What?_

"Your blood. You're bleeding." Mick took another drag of his cigarette. 

_Oh._

Stumbling, Nikki's knees hit the bed. He slowly crawled foward, and then allowed himself to fall onto his stomach. 

Mick looked sad. "What'd you do to yourself, baby?" He asked.

_Same as usual, Mickey._

It all felt so cold, Nikki thought. He rested his head on Mick's leg, entangling his fingers in Mick's pants. The material was scratchy. Nikki stared as the blood welled up from the pressure and spilt down. 

"Go back to sleep, Nikki." Mick said. 

_I don't wanna wake up._

_Please don't let me wake up._

_Don't let me wake up, Mickey. Please._

Nikki fell asleep to Mick's hand stroking his tangled hair and blood running down his arm. 

**Author's Note:**

> Me too, Nikki. Me too.


End file.
